Dappled Things

This is my first time participating in Multitude Monday, so please bear with me. I found a blank journal that I wasn’t using and started jotting down the blessings I discovered during this past week. I know that I missed so many, but benefited from them anyway.

The reason I decided to participate is because I remember a time when counting my blessings very nearly saved me. I know that God’s grace is the only thing that can ultimately save us, but I also know that seeking out his fingerprints in our lives goes a long way to ultimately finding him and being able to embrace that grace.

When I got married, I knew that my husband was an alcoholic. I saw the reality of the situation clearly before I ever said “I do.” But I really feel God let me see Will through his eyes. Seeing people through God’s eyes is a wonderful thing. It is a gift in itself. I saw in Will such heart and so many beautiful qualities. The reality of being married to someone who has an addiction is not easy, though. It is a very hard thing.

At the time, I was working in a Montessori school and I dearly loved working with the children there. Sometimes, though, life seemed so overwhelming and I needed to freshen my perspective. It was at that time that I started the habit. During my breaks at work, I would go outside and talk with God. I would thank him for all of my blessings. The first few times I attempted this, the list seemed dismally short. In no time, though, I found that my breaks weren’t long enough to name all of my blessings. My blessing-counting overflowed into my days and covered a multitude of hurts. Sadness no longer followed me around like a great gray cloud. I felt like my face shined with God’s glory.

My husband has been sober for twelve years now and is a Christian. We have been married for over twenty-one years. Our children are Christians. God is good.

“But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.“  Isaiah 40:31 (KJV)

“Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.“  Psalm 27:14 (KJV)

“But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.“  Romans 8:25 (ASV)

I knew that God did not promise me a sober, Christian husband, but I never gave up hope. Hope is a precious thing. It is so incredibly tenuous and, yet, it is worth every effort to protect and cultivate in one’s life. I also had to come to accept, though, that every day I had might be the best day of my life and I couldn’t afford to miss it wishing for something better. So, I took my “attitude of gratitude” very seriously. And God blessed me for it.

Today I am blessed that my husband hasn’t picked up a drink. That he knows and loves God. That our children know and love God. That, although I falter many times, God continues to lift me up. That even during the worst of times, he cradles me in the palm of his hand. What a wonderful place to be. Thank you, Father.